Topped Off With Tears
by Disdain.in.the.membrane
Summary: Rin tops for the first time.


**Topped Off With Tears**

Trembling hands slid the towel Makoto had wrapped around his waist off. It dropped to the floor along with Rin. Who was on his knees in front of Makoto hurriedly sucking him off. Getting him hard and ready. Always in a rush to do so.

Makoto placed his hand on Rin's cheek, pulling him away. Rin looked up at him with wide eyes and a grin. Feeling shy under Rin's gaze, he led him to the bed. Rin followed. Kissing Makoto and pushing him down onto the bed.

Sighing into Rin's mouth, Makoto smiled, "You want to?"

"Fuck yes." Rin kissed Makoto harder, body pressed tightly against him.

They both knew what this was about. In all the years Rin and Makoto had been together, and the few times they had actual penetrative sex, Makoto had always topped. It was something that both were comfortable with. Until Makoto had voiced that he was more than a little curious. That he wanted to feel Rin. And Rin was always ready to please. He excitedly picked up new lubricant and talked Makoto through all the basic pre and aftercare.

Makoto helped Rin out of his shirt and pants. They were tossed to the floor. Rin reached into the nightstand where they kept all of their personal items. He pulled out the full bottle of lube and a half empty box of condoms.

He gave Makoto's dick a few more tugs before squirting lube onto his fingers. He massaged it through, seen how Makoto had done so time and time again. Warming it in his fingers, feeling the slimy liquid drip down obscenely on his hand.

He placed a pillow under Makoto's hips and pushed back one of his legs. He eased a finger in. This was something he knew Makoto could take. They had done this before. He pushed his finger inside, circling and jerking in and out of Makoto's hole. Rin kissed Makoto's stomach the same time he put another finger in. This time Makoto jerked his hips up. His voice let out a strangled moan.

"Hey," Rin kissed his nose, "I'm here."

Makoto smiled, eyes wet with what looked like the beginnings of tears.

Rin continued stretching him. His put another finger in, slowly. There was no rush for this. As Makoto watched Rin move, he felt the pain start. This was all new and overwhelming. It felt weird. It kind of hurt at first. And oddly enough it tickled.

He let out a sigh as Rin curved his fingers inside of him. Too overwhelmed to let out a proper moan. Makoto could feel his face heat up a bright red. He could hear his heart in his ears pounding away. And he could feel Rin's three fingers pushing in and out of him. Changing his body in ways that aroused and frightened him.

This was trust. This was love. Rin was going to be inside of him like he had been inside of Rin. He was going to feel all of Rin.

Rin curled his fingers deep inside of Makoto, searching. And Rin realized he couldn't find his sweet spot. And the determination set on Rin's face told him he wasn't going to stop until he did find it. Makoto shifted his hips making Rin's fingers jerk, and making Rin grunt above him. Makoto helped guide his fingers inside until he hit it. Makoto letting out a loud moan, fingers clawing Rin's arms.

"Rin," Makoto shivered.

Rin pulled his fingers out and prepped himself. Makoto watched him tug at his half-hard cock. Panting, Makoto beckoned Rin back down for a kiss. Rin finished readying himself and hovered awkwardly over Makoto.

And he waited. And waited.

"You sure?" Rin whispered. And if the room hadn't been so quiet Makoto wouldn't have caught it.

"Are you sure?" Makoto placed a soft kiss on Rin's lips.

Nodding, Rin continued. Brows furrowed as he pressed his tip against Makoto's entrance. Sighing, he pressed in.

Makoto let out a sharp intake of breathe. This was a lot different than fingers. This was fuller. He felt full and Rin wasn't even all the way in. It stung. It felt weird.

Rin pressed in deeper. Slowly as to not hurt Makoto. It didn't really help. And holy hell did it hurt this much for Rin the first time?

Squeezing his eyes shut, Makoto focused on breathing. It eased the pressure on his hips and lower back.

"Oh," Rin stopped moving, "I'm hurting you. Oh fuck," He panicked.

Makoto peeked up at Rin through lidded eyes, "Rin." He was panting. It felt like he did a few laps around the pool.

"Makoto," Rin's eyes watered. "I'm hurting you. No, no, no," He repeated. Arms falling to the side of Makoto's head.

He unintentionally pushed in deeper making Makoto groan. Making Rin freak out even more. Now tears fell freely from his eyes as he checked Makoto's face over.

"Rin," Makoto reached up to Rin's face.

Rin pressed their foreheads together. He sobbed, placing kisses on along Makoto's jaw. In an attempt to distract him from the new sensations.

"I want you to feel good," Rin said between kisses and hiccups.

"I do," Makoto ran his fingers through Rin's hair. "You feel good."

"I'm hurting you."

Makoto nodded, "But it's you."

"Lube," Rin reached for the bottle. Pulling out as he grabbed for it. Leaving Makoto with the strange sensation of not having Rin inside of him.

Rin reopened the bottle and poured more onto himself. He stroked himself to spread around the lube. Realigning it with Makoto again, he sniffled.

"I love you," Makoto smiled at Rin's words. The words he spoke as he reentered Makoto. Slowly, pushing his way inside. Not in the rushed manner that was always Rin. But with delicacy which was also him.

Sweet and tender love that was meant for Makoto to feel. The kind of love that made Rin cry over. Not wanting to hurt his partner. Wanting to please Makoto and make him feel loved and feel good. As Makoto had shown him the same type of love in the past.

Now, as Rin moved in and out of Makoto he shined. Smiling down, kissing Makoto as he moved deeper into him. It was a new sensation, and it still kind of hurt. But it was Rin. It was Rin and he was with Rin entirely. He felt whole.

Rin pumped faster inside of him. Makoto clenched and unclenched, legs shaking on Rin's shoulders. Everything was feeling so good. Too good. Makoto felt his stomach tense in that familiar feeling. And as soon as Rin stroked his cock, he came. Rin fucked him fast and hard, coming inside. The feeling of the condom warming and filling up inside of him.

"I love you too," Makoto kissed Rin.

* * *

 **Rin crying during sex probably happens all the time**


End file.
